Twitter-20 Things I Hate About You

I don’t normally write about social media on this blog, it’s a property web site after all However, the other day I woke up to a flood of spam and other stuff on my Twitter account which just made me want to rant. So I did. And it created a very entertaining half hour. We had lots of people tweeting us about our anti spam rant. So I thought I would recreate it here, just as a tongue in cheek look at what you should NOT be doing with your Twitter account, unless you want to annoy everyone around you and alienate your new found audience!

With that in mind, I’m standing for election, here is my #TwitterManifesto. ( For those that don’t know yet- the hashtag [#] is a way to follow just one conversation on Twitter with only that content.) These are some things I would ban or change on Twitter if it were possible:

1. Ban the use of disclaimers in bio’s. Don’t do it- nobody cares what your bosses think you should tweet.
2. Ban the use of “RT this for more follows” -type of accounts. Pointless.You need a “relevant” following.
3. Ban all forms of spam. ( nuff said!)
4. Ban all folks who cannot put up a recent picture in their bio of themselves.
5. Ban the use of babies/ animals in bio photos which are only there for sympathy vote.
6. Ban anonymous twitter pics of random scantily clad ladies or buff blokes.
7. Ban anyone who goes on about their networking habits incessantly. I DON’T care. You are boring me.
8. Ban anyone who asks for “follows” or “likes” on any social channel. Begging is never pretty.
9. Ban all self proclaimed Twitter or social media experts. So you’re an expert at talking.Get over it, we all are.
10. Ban the use of multiple ReTweet-ing of #FF mentions in one massive list. grrrrrrrrrr!
11. Ban the use of accounts that only fire out links with no personal interaction or replies to links.
12. Learn that Twitter is not only about talking and connecting- its about sales too.Get over it.
13. Ban the use and mention of all things Klout. Its not the bible for engagement, people. Its a few algorithms.
14. Ban the use of Tru Twit validation. I’m a real person. Don’t force me to jump hoops to join your gang.I wont bother.
15. Ban the word and use of “mumpreneurs” in any context. It’s a patronising concept.
16. Ban stalkers @JamieDewar Im talking about you! ( Only kidding Jamie!)
17. Teach spammers the art of speech, rather than slapping a sales message at someone.
18. Stop people connecting Twitter feeds to LinkedIn or FaceBook. Those tweets makes no sense out of context.
19. Ban the use of celebrity name dropping on Twitter. Get a REAL life. Not someone elses.
20. Ban tools that allow people to tweet about who unfollows them. It’s RUDE to tweet that info.

Twitter is pretty simple. It’s real people talking to other real people about real stuff. Try to behave as you would face to face in a normal setting and you won’t go far wrong.

What are your pet hates? Have I missed some? Add your thoughts in the comments box.

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